Our intimate relationships with our mothers and daughters powerfully shape our journey of becoming our true selves. Whether they welcome our authentic expression or prompt self betrayal or rebellion, these relationships lay an important foundation for our feminine awakening. This re-released episode from 2017 is part of the Divine Feminine Awakening series. Listen as Joni shares personal reflections on the two most impactful relationships in her journey of feminine awakening – with her mother and her daughter.
This episode will have you considering how your own mother line relationships have shaped your personal awakening journey.
In addition, Joni explores:
- Ancestral roots of feminine powerlessness and low self worth.
- Disowning our power.
- Ways we can return to ourselves when we lose ourselves.
- The necessity of true reflections in our life.
- Owning our value as women.
- Carolyn Myss
- David Chethlahe
To go deeper with the conversation you can join me in the Divine Feminine Ascension Leadership Community on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divinefeminineascensionleadership
Listen to Mothers, Daughters & the Journey to our True Self by clicking the play button on the audio player below.
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Read the Full Transcript Here:
Hello and welcome. Today we’re going to talk about the journey of becoming ourselves, which truly is a labor of love. So 13 years ago today, I was in labor with my daughter. I would like to tell you today is her birthday, but I cannot. It’s actually tomorrow. It was a long labor. And just like her labor of coming into this world for many of us, the labor of becoming ourselves is long and intense. Also a year ago this month, my mother died after a season of aggressive leukemia. It was just before the fall Equinox in 2016.
I’m bringing this up today because these two relationships, the one with my mother and with my daughter have been the most instrumental in my journey of becoming myself. I once heard Carolyn mace tell a story about a native American man named David Chethlahe and David returned back to his native American tribe as a young man, severely traumatized after having been a prisoner of war, just a shell of himself and through ceremony, the tribe he belonged to called him back to himself. I may be mixing it with another story, but I’ve heard about tribes more than once, whether it’s through song or through ceremony, calling members back to who they are when they lose that connection with themselves. So partly from this inspiration. And partly because frankly, my daughter has been coming out the other side of some very deep betrayal and heart wounding, in honor of her 13th birthday, I reached out to the women who have seen her clearly and held the space for her for these last 13 years. I asked each of them to write her a letter, both about what they know of her and their wisdom for her as she steps into the next phase of becoming her young adult self.
And I must tell you, it has been really powerful to read the reflections, to see the truth on the paper, in these women’s recognition of who my daughter really is.
I want for her, all of her life, my prayer for her is that she always have access to true reflections of her essence from those who know her and can see her. Clearly, we all need those who can hold the space for us and call us back to ourselves when we lose our way and receive. And also those that can receive us and the fullness of who we really are. We all need that. You need that in your life, your daughters, your mothers, your husbands, your sons, we all need that in our journey to become ourselves. Ah, and as we know, we all have experiences in our lives, which really disconnect us from that essential self. And of course, we are bombarded in our lives with messages and experiences and relationships that seem to require us to divorce or disown those key pieces of who we are.
So last year, the priest from my mother’s parish asked me to provide him with some notes for the homily of her funeral mass. I took some time to speak with my mom’s twin sister and to reflect on her life. And I realized for the first time, how much of a leader, she actually was both in her spiritual community with her sister, all of their lives. And I reflected on all the ways she was both a leader and the backbone in her marriage and in our family.
Now, if you would’ve asked me years ago, if my mother was strong or a leader, I would have said, no, if you had asked her that about herself, I believe she also would have denied it. But the fact of the matter is she learned to disown her power and put herself in a one-down position throughout most of her life.
And my memories of her were more akin to Edith bunker from the TV show, All in the Family who was kind of bumbling and dithery as opposed to a woman of strength, leadership, and even vision. And my mom, I know, came by this honestly. She had so many experiences and messages in her life that reinforced this idea that she was worth less and without power. And this story was also passed down to her from her own mother, from her experiences. And then my mother in turn transmitted it to her daughter, to me. And I know that we are not the only lineage of women in this world that have learned that, that have learned to disown our power or to cut off parts of ourself to try and make it in this world. And it’s, it was not the truth for any of us, not for my mother, her mother or myself, that we were powerless or worth less, but that’s what we carried and what we believed.
So while I was pregnant and I knew I was having a daughter, my fierce commitment was to ensure that she both felt valued, honored, and seen and truth be told through the journey of supporting her with that. I have been initiated into reclaiming and receiving that for myself and seeing her innate value. I began to recognize my own and it truly was her birth coupled with a history of the devaluing of the feminine and the women in my mother line that has stirred me to my mission and my passion in life, which is supporting women like you in remembering your value and your worth, and that you are all ready leaders in your own life and that you have power in your own life. And this journey of becoming ourselves is so often, coming back to ourselves because as I’ve witnessed my daughter initially in all of her fullness and confidence and exuberance, and then move through this passage where she’s taken some hits by life and it really has thrown her for a loop and it, it it’s really changed her sense of who she is.
And as I see her in that recovery process and I, and those that love her are supporting her in coming back to herself. I think about that journey for all of us, because for so many of us, we haven’t had a support or a guide or a champion to help call us back as young girls or young women even. And so it sometimes takes us into our later stages of life that we find those individuals. And we find those tribes that can call us back that can reflect and see the beauty and the brilliance and the power of who you are. So, yeah, I want to affirm for you today. My beloved, that is true for you, that you are indeed brilliant and beautiful, and that you are a leader in your own life. And I deeply encourage you to find those people who can hold that space for, and that can receive you in the fullness of who you are. And with that, it helps bring forth and it helps the blossoming. And it helps that birthing back to your true self and your true essence. So I am cheering you on my dear. And from here from afar, I am holding the space for you, and as we bring it to a close for today, I want to remind you both to always trust what your heart knows, because it does indeed help you in the birthing of yourself.
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