Welcome to Trust Your Sacred Feminine Flow
Each month on the podcast, I share intimate conversations with (r)evolutionary women about their journey to embody their sovereignty and change the world.
Helane Marie Anderson is a transformational voice coach, singer, pianist, sound healer, musician, composer, energy healer, author, multi-instrumentalist, and teacher. She is at the frontier of personal transformation and empowerment through embodying our voice through speaking, singing.
Based on her unique journey through a performing arts career that eventually led her down a healing path, Helane’s book and transformational voice program YOU ARE MEANT TO SING! 10 Steps to Unlock Your Inner Voice, combines her training and background into focused work with the voice. The intention behind her programs is to create a space that allows people to step into their power and their purpose while connecting deeply with the voice through speaking, singing and action.
Her unique style of working with sound blends her years of studying healing modalities with contemporary music & sound healing.
In this episode we discussed:
~Helane’s journey of healing and spiritual awakening.
~Our voice as a vehicle for our empowerment.
~Why embodiment so important to creating fulfillment in our lives.
~How our most challenging relationships can foster our growth.
~The use of Mantra in activating our voice.
~The instrument of our voice.
~Boundaries and creating emotional safety.
For more information on Helane Marie: www.sacralsounds.com
Request your FREE PDF of You Are Meant to Sing! 10 Steps to Unlock your Inner Voice at Email: sacralsoundsla@gmail.com
Listen to Embodying your Voice by clicking the play button on the audio player below.
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Read the Full Transcript Here:
Joni
Welcome beloved. I am so delighted. You are here with us today. I have a special guest that I want to share with you. It’s Helane Marie Anderson. Welcome. Helane Marie.
Helane
Thank you. I’m very happy to be here.
Joni
So delighted to have you, and let me share a bit more about you and the wonder of what you bring to the world with our listeners. So Helayne Marie is a transformational voice coach. She’s a singer, a pianist, a sound healer I’m musician, composer, energy healer, author multi-instrumentalist, and teacher, and her unique style of working with sound the lens, her years of studying healing modalities with contemporary music and sound healing based on her unique journey through a performing arts career that eventually led her down her healing path, Elaine’s book and transformational voice program. You are Meant to Sing: 10 Steps to Unlock your Inner Voice, combines her training and background into focused work with the voice. The intention behind her programs is to create a space that allows people to step into their power and their purpose while connecting deeply with the voice through speaking, singing and action. And LA yoga magazine says Helane Marie sings like an angel taking you into the celestial world with her voice, paired with crystal singing bowls,chimes and alchemical bowls.
Welcome back Helane Marie.
Helane Marie
Thank you so much for having me. I’m really happy to be here and happy to be with all of you today.
Joni
Yes, yes. So I reached out to you because I was so enthusiastic and excited to find your work.
Really the piece about using the voice and the power of our voice to reconnect with that place of power and purpose. So I would love to just dive in there and say, how, how did you ever, how did you get to that? I know that may be a long answer.
Helane
Do you want the short story or the long story? Well let me just start by saying I’ve been a lifelong singer, and musician. I started piano actually fairly late. I started when I was 10 years old and I always would sing. I sang in choir in my church growing up and I loved singing in school. I was in choir. I wanted to perform, I wanted to play the piano. I wanted to do anything and everything, musical that I could get my hands on and my parents were not musical. And so they both took piano lessons growing up and hated it. So they weren’t going to let me take piano lessons. And so when I was 10, I pretty much told my parents that they could keep my allowance if they let me take piano lessons. So I was completely self motivated. It was more, my parents told me to stop playing rather than, you know, having to tell me to play and practice. So I was kind of the opposite child in that regard. So I would definitely have the draw towards music from a very young age. However, I had a challenging relationship with my mother, both of my parents have passed at this point now. But my mother, she had a lot of stuff going on. I’ll just say that. And, and really didn’t know what to do was having such a creative child. And so there was a lot of these elements in my voice that got very shut down. And even though I throughout high school, throughout college and beyond, I took voice lessons, I studied voice lessons. My bachelor’s degree is in piano performance and I studied voice to all through school. Uh, there was always a part of me that felt disconnected from my actual instrument. And then when I would sing on and off inquires, when I lived in New York city and I still kept that going, but there was always a part of me that felt disconnected from my actual voice and meaning that I was technically singing in a certain way and that, but I was disconnected from the real truth of the soul part of my voice.
And so I went through my own spiritual evolution and journey, and it was preempted after my father passed away in 2007. I was in a very high level position at the Los Angeles Philharmonic working with the orchestra and the Hollywood bowl. And I realized that I was deeply unhappy and there was so much of who I was that couldn’t be expressed in that job, but it was a highly coveted job. And, and so I had this real battle internally of where I was exercising my voice in the way that wasn’t actually going to help the most of the people I was meant to help. And, and it was a very long journey because I defined myself so much by my job. So it was like a major shift for me. It was a process because I had a consulting business for awhile to help me make the transition, but it was everything that I teach.
Everything that I guide people through is, has been something that I’ve done myself. So in terms of really going deep into what this means, how can I help people get to the empowerment part of their voice quicker? And also I think the realization that a lot of us, when we feel disempowered or we feel out of alignment with the life we’ve created for ourselves, it’s because there’s an element of the voice that hasn’t been expressed fully yet, or the voice is out of alignment. And so my work is really about bringing it into alignment. Because the voice itself is the breath we live based on the breath, everything was singing everything in the vibration of the voice. It’s all from the breath. And the breath comes from yes, the air that comes into the lungs, but the diaphragm is the muscle that controls or the breath, right?
It’s an involuntary muscle most of the time, because we don’t think about breathing, but when you do yoga practices or pranayama or sing you use the breadth of different ways for all of those things. And so when you start to strengthen it, and it literally is in the solar plexus area, it’s, it’s that area, right? That’s where the diaphragm is. And that is the solar plexus is the power center. It’s where all the power comes from. So a lot of times I’ve found when people have had really severe trauma, whether physical, emotional, mental, physical, and I think on some level as humans, we all have some trauma. And so when the pieces of the voice gets shut down, there’s stuff that gets stuck. So it’s from that somatic experience. And so when you start to like, really go deeper into these exercises of opening the diaphragm and connecting with the breath and stepping into that, uh, there are a lot, what happens with trauma is that oftentimes parts of the person, the spirit, whatever, leave the body, that’s what happens cause that’s how they cope.
And I also went through a lot of that myself. And so this awareness of how much of my life I spent in the astral body and then bringing it back into the body. You can’t actually affect change in this dimension, like as a human, unless you’re in your body. If you’re always outside of your body. And that’s the thing with some of the spiritual circles that they don’t always address being in the body, it’s great to have these other experiences and that is awesome. And I’ve had many of them, but if you’re not physically present in your actual body, in this moment in time in this dimension, as like a human where you’re living you can’t change and shift things around you. It’s like you have to be in your body. And so this embodiment of the voice, this transformation, and the other piece of that is that there is a lot of, if you’ve had really significant trauma or things in your life that have happened, and it doesn’t actually have to be trauma, it can be something that seems small. Seems small in the mind, but it can be just as much as like one thread of where your voice is or a judgment about your own voice.
So, it doesn’t have to be something big, but I’m just using that as an example, that when you have that trauma, sometimes it’s like, people don’t want to come back in the body because then it’s painful, right? And you have to feel through the feelings to get to the other side. So in my own experience, it’s been much more beneficial and healing when I’ve had a witness or I’ve had someone to hold that space for me. So in essence, it’s holding the space for the release of whatever it is that feels scary to give that safety. And I do most of my, I’ve been doing all my sessions on zoom and it’s actually, I find almost more effective than doing it in person because you’re not relying on that. It’s almost like from the energetic perspective, there’s this ability to really tap in energetically.
And my work is very much stemmed in the intention that I want to empower people. I don’t want clones. I don’t want like people that are, you know, sing like me or necessarily. I want them to sing with their voice, not my voice. And I think there’s a lot of having been a product of the classical music system. There’s a lot of teaching that is teaching people to play like you or sing like you or be like you. And, I just don’t subscribe to that way of being anymore. It’s very much, I want to play like them. And everyone has their own voice. So it’s like cultivating that. So I’ve had people that do my program and then they feel complete. And then I’ve had people that work with me for a lot longer. It really depends on each person, but there’s like that, you know, taking my life experience, it took years to figure some of this stuff out and really condensing it to a program that I feel like I can help people get there faster.
It just can be kind of intense in the middle, but it’s like, it’s, it’s a way of like, okay, let’s get the timeline so that you don’t have to spend so much time, but I’ve, I find that sort of auspicious number of what is, you know, for years I didn’t invent the 40 days that’s, that’s forever, right? Like that’s ancient wisdom that if you chant the mantra, the 108 times for 40 days, that you will reprogram something in your neuro brain, but it takes that time because there’s a clearing of everything that’s been blocking it before it gets to the other side. And that’s the space that’s, I think is important to hold for people, because if they feel like they have someone that can support what’s happening and they understand what’s happening, because I didn’t have that. And, and so if there was a lot of stuff that was happening, that if I had just had somebody that took the time to really go into explaining what was happening with the process, then I think I would have happened sooner for me too. So I feel like that’s part of my purpose with that.
Joni
Yes, You were the pioneer. And so you were, it sounds like you were doing that on your own. and it’s that whole social nervous system piece that I’m hearing you refer to because we have our individual nervous system but we have that mirroring that we do for each other and holding a container that allows for us to emerge or to blossom.
Helane Marie: For sure.
Joni
Yes, Very excited about everything you’re talking about, the embodiment piece. Absolutely. In fact, I was going to ask about the name of your business or your website Sacral Sounds. Is it related to the Sacrum?
Helane Marie
Yes. Yeah. Sacral chakra. I mean the sacral chakra is connected to sexuality and creativity. It’s like, where everything is born from the sacral chakra, like, right. So anything of the music, anything of the sound I’ve had a real journey myself in that department that, you know, is like that ongoing healing process. And so there’s something about that process. And when I came up with a name, I actually had a friend and we were doing a brainstorm that we ended up with this name because I also am a, uh, I mean, I’m a trained massage therapist, but really I do much more craniosacral therapy at this point. Like, and, and, and so I don’t do so much of that anymore, but I use those techniques when I’m working with people with the voice. And so the craniosacral therapy really informs the work.
And so at that time, when I came up with the name, which was about six and a half years ago, now, I realized like I wanted, I was playing around because I was doing more craniosacral work at that time. It was at least half, if not more of what my work was, because I was just starting to do more with the sound and the voice at that point in this capacity, of course, I always tell people, ask me how long I’ve been doing it. I was like, you know, I’m a, I’m a lifelong musician. I’ve been like trained. So it’s more just incorporating all these healing tools into the space. so there was something about playing around with the word of the craniosacral, right. And then it came up, okay, where did they come together? And then it was sacral sounds, but it was also the sacral chakra.
And when that name kind of came out, it was very clear that, Oh, no, that feels grounded. It feels grounded. And like just the name and also grounded in all the elements of what I do, because it’s also the producing the sound healing recordings and doing the live streams and doing the meditation and doing this as all feels like it’s coming from my creative center. So that’s like the very clear intention. And I just redid my website and my logo too. So it’s like I had a really brilliant artist that helped me envision and vision really matched what I had in my head, which, you know, I’m always grateful when that happens.
Joni
Absolutely. And I think about the pelvic bowl, like the sacrum and the pelvic bowl, and I know you work with the bowls and the sound healing. So it’s like the synergy of that is very, very potent.
Helane: Thank you.
Joni
And I wanted to share, I am working with the mantra. I tried that out and it’s interesting just what comes up as you move through that and, and even settling on like, what is the right mantra. And if you have anything even to say about your experience, if you want to share a little bit about that?
Helane Marie
I look at it as, um, I don’t know. It’s, it’s, it seems like a funny word, but it makes sense in the Western context, like a prescription, right. The first session when I work with people in terms of the program, I send this guided meditation that I actually recorded right at the beginning.
The first time I did this program four years ago. And as I was developing how it was laid out the way that it would unfold for people. And the one thing that came up for me was this idea with the mantra I recorded this guided meditation. So I send it to people ahead of time. And I asked that they listened to it more than once it’s short, it’s probably like six minutes or something, but it kind of, it starts the inquiry into the essence of where they are in that moment and what their real intention is with clearing their voice. So it’s very, and it’s always different. Right. And I have some people that have worked with me that they, like, they want to do this mantra and then this month, and then this one, and I kind of encouraged people to do one at a time, especially when they’re just getting started, because it can be really intense.
Like some of the people I’ve worked with, like have these clearings, and they’re just sort of shocked. I tell them all at the beginning, I said, can start doing this. Like, life’s going to bring you the things to clear, like, just so you know, and they’re always kind of like, Whoa, I didn’t even know that was coming right. Which is fine to watch too. Right. And so then we spend a lot of the first session, which is also coming from like my years of training with the craniosacral work, which also included a lot of like communication and polarity therapy and that, so it’s very much stemmed in, in getting to the essence of what is the real essence of what it is you’re calling in based on all of these elements of where you are in your spiritual process, your mental process, your emotional process.
And, and I’d say 50% of the time, it’s something that the client and I create together, or I will give suggestions based on, okay, this is how we can word it. And, you know, I work with a lot of people that are not native English speakers too. So, I encourage them in terms of, you can say this in English, or you can say it in your native language, whatever resonates with you the most. And then I’d say the other half of the people, it ends up being a Sanskrit mantra that is the best for what they’re going through or a Ho’oPonoPono or something. It just depends like each person where they are in their process of like what that essence is of where they’re going next with their voice and what they’re calling in. And I think that there’s something about that reflection of. And, I’m actually in the process now of doing a course of it. I’m going deeper into the Indian music myself, just so that I feel like I have an even deeper understanding of a lot of these things as well. And so, yeah, cause it’s really important and to know, and understand the energy of all of these things and what it is you’re really working with.
Joni
Right. The seed syllables and, and what they, what the transmission is, that’s coming through them.
Helane Marie
Yeah. I mean, I don’t give anyone any mantra that I’m not aware of like the full on meaning and what they are necessarily. I’d say it’s just, um, uh, but yeah, but I know just going deeper into studying with someone that is Indian, that I’m going, uh, okay. Just like my layer of like knowledge and deepening my own layers of knowledge beyond what I’ve learned already. I think that’s important. We all continue to do that because that’s how we show up as like better practitioners as better teachers as better, whatever is that we can all delve into our process to learn.
Joni
Absolutely. So I would love to talk about the idea that everyone is a singer because there may be women listening who think, you know, what does this have to do with me? I’m not a singer. I don’t want to be a singer. Um, so what do you, what do you have to say to that or about that?
Helane Marie
Well, I would say first of all, everyone really is a singer because I don’t know that there’s anyone that doesn’t at least sing with the radio or in the shower or sing to themselves or hum, or something. Like, I don’t really know anyone that doesn’t, even like grandmother who was a little bit tone deaf, but she would still sing. So I have some people who work with me that are singers that really want to connect with their voice more deeply and are professional singers. And then I have people that work with me that don’t really like to sing at all. And they don’t but they feel like there’s a blockage in their throat.
If they feel speaking wise, they feel like they have a block where they feel like they can’t speak their truth or something is happening. And it’s really, for that, you don’t have to be a singer, but the vibration of the voice and the exercises that I do with people are very much about how you can actually use your voice to heal yourself.
You never have to go sing a song in public. That’s not what it’s about. If that’s your intention, then if I’m working privately with the people the nature of those sessions go in a different direction. Then if I’m working with someone that is just moving to speak their truth, and it’s just different because it depends on each person and where they are and what’s unfolding for them and their process.
So yes, I believe everyone is a singer and I believe that we have this instrument that’s healing and powerful, regardless of what we judge as the state of our instruments. Because if you really look at any indigenous culture, everyone sings, everyone does something. It’s like, why does the medicine man have that role in an indigenous community? That he’s the medicine person, because that’s his path and that’s his role, but that doesn’t mean that other people are not learning and participating. And in the case of the singers, you might have the tribal people that lead, but everyone joins in because it’s about a vibration, it’s about this collective and you don’t have to even sing the mantra. If you do it, you can speak it. It’s still the vibration of the voice. And just the pure, like resonant chamber of the voice is this element that we all have.
Joni
Yes, we do. We do. Thank you.
Helane Marie
You’re welcome.
Joni
So if you’re open to talk about the mom daughter thing. Because I read at the beginning of your book that you dedicated to your mom as your greatest teacher.
Helane Marie: I did. Yes
Joni
And I have a similar history with my mother for similar reasons. I don’t know that our mothers were exactly the same, but the chemistry of my full expression and her being were I would say comparable in the way that it was a thwarting that spurred on my growth. And, and I, I have a daughter as well. And she, similar to you, has that desire to be a performer or that desire to be out in the open. And so it’s just fascinating to me kind of being in the center because now I say the two of them are my, my greatest teachers, she as so willing to be out there.
And I’m just aware of my own issues around visibility. And I don’t know if like the visibility and the voice have gone together, whether it’s with the people you work with or that similar message. I know, certainly in my own history there, I would say was a multi generational legacy of the women in the family, like tamping down the women in the family. So I’m not sure what my question is. It’s just more kind of dropping that into the field, because my guess is, is that there are women who are listening, who have, who are on both sides of that equation, who are mothers, who are daughters.
Helane Marie
I mean, I just thinking how to respond since, yeah. It wasn’t a direct question I can say. I mean, just for everybody who’s listening my mother, my mother had bipolar disorder and it was a very challenging relationship.
And my mother was very stuck in her childhood wounding and never recovered from it. And so she behaved often like a child and it was a very challenging thing because there’s a lot of societal judgment around it’s your mother, so you should have a relationship. It’s your mother. You should feel a certain way. Like, it’s your mother. And, and I very much come from like giving people permission to feel how they feel with whatever.
Joni: Yeah.
Helane Marie
Because if anyone was close to things that happened I think people would judge less. Because if you’re treated a certain way, even if the person is your mother, there’s no… Like my mother and I never had safety. I never had emotional safety with her. And so even when I started setting boundaries, really, really hard boundaries on and off for the last 20 years with her before, she passed away three and a half years ago and she didn’t really take care of herself either.
And so it was a very challenging thing, and she was on and off of medication. And when she did take her medication it was easier. But then towards the end she didn’t. And then I had to set a clear boundary that I couldn’t, we can’t have a relationship if you’re gonna go to the darker places again, because I’ve had enough. And so I think the hardest thing for other people to understand is that that boundary is actually necessary in order to preserve your own health. And I think it’s hard to do because it’s a very complicated, it’s a very complicated thing. So I just encourage people to be really compassionate about people, if they have challenges with their parents, because you never really know someone’s journey. And I think it’s really important to not discount or project your own experience if you had a very loving, emotionally available supportive mother onto somebody that didn’t have that because you actually don’t know what that’s like.
And so I think the biggest piece of advice is just to own your feelings and it’s okay. And giving permission, if you need to set a boundary with a family member, and it’s not just that some people have to set boundaries with their children. Some people have to set boundaries with their spouse. Some people have to set boundaries with things that, and these are never easy. Like none of these circumstances are easy, right? I mean, just because someone has a child and their child might struggle with addiction, it doesn’t mean it was the parent’s fault. Right? Sometimes it’s the journey of that soul of that person. Right. And so I imagine I’m not a parent myself, but I imagine, and have seen where it’s very challenging because there’s a lot of blaming yourself and it’s the same.
If you have a difficult parent, the child tends to blame themselves, which is what I did for years. And it really, so I think if there’s any spiritual lesson in that, and for anybody that’s listening is to be kind and be, really be kind, be compassionate and just really know that you actually can never really a hundred percent know another human, because we all have our own experiences. We all have our own way of dealing things. We all have our own way of processing information. And we may find people we’re really similar with, but there’s that real relationship is when we can accept that person as they are, because no matter what the relationship, whether it’s mother, daughter, romantic relationship, you know, a mother and son, siblings, friendships, work relationships. We’re never going to be able to a hundred percent know every single thing that’s going on and another person’s being, or the truth of every single thing that they went through.
Joni: Sure.
Helane Marie
So I think in those moments where we have to set boundaries with people, I think that’s probably the hardest thing to do in any kind of relationship is setting boundaries, because we’re not really taught that either in the standard way of growing up, at least not in the United States. Like my mom did not like boundaries when we set them with her. She was like, no, what is this thing? Boundaries? And so I just think like that, and the more you can also, like what you had mentioned just to come bring this around full circle about her being my greatest teacher, it’s that for sure. It’s the difficult relationships that teach us forgiveness that teaches compassion that teach us deeply about who we are as people. They teach us how to dive in, they actually teach us what love actually is or is not. Right? Like, and so this idea is that the easy, if we only had easy relationships in our life, we would never evolve and grow. So this idea that the difficult relationships are the ones that are there so that we can step into a new way of being.
Joni: Yes, I agree. And they do a foster sometimes through the crucible or the pressure.
Helane Marie: For sure.
Joni
Dimensions or aspects of us coming out that never would have been there, under other circumstances.
Helane Marie: For sure.
Joni
So, the thing that kind of pinged when you were speaking was the emotional safety. And I can imagine the necessity of emotional safety to free the voice.
Helane Marie
For sure. And that’s one of the primary things I tell people I work with – nothing scares me, really. Whatever thing you’ve gone through you’re not gonna scare me. And I think it’s this element, but I’ve gone that deep with myself to release these things. And so, I also feel like if you’re doing any kind of this, this type of work, this energy healing, or working deeply with the voice or working deeply with any kind of coaching work if you haven’t done the work yourself you’re just not going to have that same level of integrity. Right. And it’s also just a deep understanding, right? Because when I tell people, even when I was doing the body work and now I just do it on more subtle levels, but I’m kind of doing the same thing.
It’s like the sensitivity of being a classical pianist and having my fingers be really sensitive. I can touch people and know what’s grief and know what sadness and know what’s love and know it stuck and know what’s… You know why, because it’s a vibration, I can feel the vibration and I’m fine tuned to knowing what the vibration is. So it’s the same thing with stepping into the voice of being fine tuned that I know when that person’s holding rage, or I know when that person is holding anger, I know the stuck thing in the voice. So one of my clients actually said, do you do just like intuitive readings? And I said, well, I do it in a context of empowerment with people. So it’s I don’t like to call it that because when I get the intuitive things, it’s because it’s very direct alignment to help this person’s through their process and not something where I’m trying to tell someone what to do so I’m giving them hope for the future or something like that. It’s a very different energy when you say it’s one thing as the other. And I’m very clear that it’s definitely, when I work with people, it’s part, voice coaching, it’s part, energy healing, it’s part intuitive reading. It’s part like craniosacral work that I’m doing. It’s all of those things. And then when people go further and they really want to focus on singing a classical singer, and I sing lots of things, and then we do get into vocal technique. That is part of it. Yes. But this initial stage is like the clearing of anything that’s blocking the voice from its full expression.
Joni
Yeah. So it strikes me that perhaps part of like part of our evolution these days in terms of humanity is really reclaiming this in a conscious way. And I’m, I have my hands on my throat, um, reclaiming the voice, reclaiming the power, we’ll say of the fifth chakra, so to speak and using it with much more consciousness and awareness. So it seems to me that you are at the forefront of fostering that, of invoking that in letting people know this matters.
Helane Marie
Yeah, for sure. I mean, I feel really strongly and I’m super grateful for all of my teachers that it’s come into this space. Right. Because however, what I’m doing, there are bits and pieces of what I’m doing that other people, like I might’ve picked up here or there we’re all like conglomerates of everything we’ve learned. But the approach of really getting clear into that segment, of where is the voice? Where does it need to move? Where does it go into this next space? For sure. I feel like it is super important. And I feel like it’s super important that people feel safe to express their truth, where they are. And we’re living in such a weird time right now. I mean, I don’t really, for lack of a better word in this moment, but I mean, things are really very chaotic and the world at the moment and that’s sort of an understatement of the year, but I think this element of we’re all being asked to stand up for what we believe in, and it can be really uncomfortable because when you do that, and I think this is where there’s a lot of fear.
Even with this piece, when you start really living and speaking your truth, the systems that have been at play in your life will start to break down. And so that’s the piece that I totally now understand. And if people come and they say they want to work with me, but they’re not quite ready, I just trust they’re not ready yet. And it’s fine. Because everyone has their own timeline. They’re going to be ready to do the work when they’re ready to do the work. And I’m totally okay with that. I’m not a pressure cooker. I don’t like to do the kind of salesy thing. It’s like, this is what it is when you’re ready to go, we’ll go. And if you’re not ready, then I trust that’s not the right time. And it’s really important because there is that element where I tell people that some of your relationships will change.
I can guarantee you when you start to go through because I’ve had this happen multiple times where I’ve had and lost. Well, I say lost. I’ve just had friendships that just didn’t resonate anymore. And it’s happened a lot actually over the last 10 years where I’ve had things that were otherwise close friendships that just completely severed. And they become less and less dramatic as it happens cause you just sort of that the relationship itself was stemmed in a pattern that was stemmed in a wounding. And when you come to terms, that’s why I say like the greatest teacher, right. Of the difficult relationships. When you come to terms and you see that this pattern was based in a childhood wound or a trauma wound or something, then the relationship itself that doesn’t, some relationships can move past that and move into a higher space.
And I have had friendships that have done that even after hardly speaking for a year and then coming back and being in this higher vibrational space with them. So that is also possible. And there can be deep healing and deep unfolding of, love and relationships. And then you might have other people that just come in for a season. And it’s accepting that, which for somebody like me, that’s a Scorpio and is super loyal was a really challenging part of the process because it’s hard for me to let people go. And so it’s been that process of realizing. But every time I’ve gotten more and more clear when something has done it’s time. I honestly, this window opens and all of these new people come into that space that are more aligned with where I am now. So I think that’s the flip, if you can make it where you’re able to go through, that’s why I call it the transformation.
There’s a piece of it where things shift. And it may be that all of your relationships just shift because if you’ve never set boundaries in a relationship and all of a sudden you start setting boundaries, that person’s going to have their own reaction.
Joni: Absolutely.
Helane Marie
And they may or may not be ready to meet you in that new space. And so you have to accept that when you speak that and when you speak your truth, you can trigger people, even though that’s not your intention. Your intention is to speak from your heart. But sometimes when you start showing up and you start shining your light actually, it can bring up this stuff in other people. And this is the harder stuff sometimes of the transformational process. But if you understand that that’s what’s happening and you really know it doesn’t make it easy, but it does make it easier because there is that side to it where there’s this evolutionary process of just the most high forms of love and experiences and connection and all of these deeper things that are just, it’s just like pulling out the weeds in the garden.
Sometimes it just, and it doesn’t mean anything’s bad about any people. It just means that it just means that some people are going to resonate with you throughout your life. And some people will resonate for a time. And some people don’t resonate and then they come back again, because they’ve done their work over here. I’ve had all of these experiences and they’ve all been beautiful. And during this quarantine, it’s been really interesting to me that people from my past that have come back into alignment with me now. And it’s been a really beautiful process of even the newer people, just elevating to this other space of being and fun. And I really encourage people. Because the real beauty of the evolution is deeper and deeper connection with yourself. And the voice can empower all of these things.
Joni
Yes, that coupled with creating, as you said, like creating your life, your relationships externally things in a different way.
Helane Marie
Absolutely. I mean, it really is. You start to do this and then you create the next level vibrationally of what it is that you are calling in. I also go through this, so I just end up encouraging people whenever I’m entering in, which I have been recently, like stepping into a new evolution with my own work. There’s always a bit of fear to work through and a bit of security to work through. It doesn’t go away. You just have more tools to be able to step into the space and be like, okay, this thing, like you’re coming up again. Okay. I see you, but you don’t have control this time. Right. It’s kind of, you change the dialogue where you almost make it funny because then when you, when you can laugh about it and you see it for what it is, then you can shift into, Oh, you stop expecting… One friend of mine when I lived in New York years ago and she’s a classical cellist. And I remember she said this to me and I just take her words of wisdom. And she said, my life got a lot easier when I stopped expecting it to be easy.
Joni: That is brilliant.
Helane Marie
So we’re in this human space. We’re going to have hard moments. Things are going to happen. We’re not in control of all of the external forces, but we are in control of our own way of responding to things. If we can hone in on our own emotional landscape and develop the tools of when we feel off, what do we do about it? So it’s about… That’s the evolution is that we’re able to observe things and see the cosmic joke and the things that even are hard, as opposed to living in the world where everything is challenging.
Joni: Yes. The narrative. What is the narrative we’re attaching?
Helane Marie
All the narrative and how we tell the story. And I emphasize that so much. Like I even talking to my cousin, I love so much. And she was referring to something about something being horrendous. And I said, well, maybe even say like, that revelation will be enlightened. And she’s like, Oh my gosh, you’re so right. Like I gotta like change that word. And it really is like, if we keep telling this word and we keep living in, I S I still have to catch myself on some stories, you know, it’s, it’s more just like, Oh, okay. You again, like, okay, this isn’t working, we’re gonna do this. You know, and it’s almost this, this, um, what I always I write about in the book, but the Fred Flintstone, I have the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. And it’s like, okay, which one’s going to be louder right now.
Which one are you going to listen to? And we all have our little inner dialogue that happens that way. And that’s a lot of what I addressed with people too, is the inner dialogue and really understanding whose voices they really are. And then coming down to which voice is actually yours.
Joni
Yes, And I know we are getting to the point, we need to wrap it up, but I actually have one more question for you. And it relates to the trend of affirmation. And I want to ask you what’s your perception about the difference between affirmation and using words and voice in that way, as opposed to say mantra, for example? Do you understand what I’m getting at? It feels like something’s missing to me just with the affirmation process.
Helane Marie: I think you can look at it as a mantra is a type of affirmation.
Joni: Yes.
Helane Marie
So in terms of differentiation, if your affirmation is just, I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy. And you keep saying that, but you’re not addressing what’s underneath.
Joni: Yes.
Helane Marie
Then, then the feeling of the word might vibrationally not match. However, it’s just different because if I was saying that with a mantra for somebody, I would be like, I embody the energy of happiness in everything I do.
Joni: Yes.
Helane Marie
That’s more of a mantra, right? As opposed to the affirmation because I … it’s the embodiment. I love using the word embodiment for a lot of people, I use that with them, but it’s this element where you’re taking in this energy of happiness. What is that? Because I’m happy is also like, well, if I don’t feel happy, you know, it’s, it’s a, I guess it’s, it’s kind of a more complicated question.
I, and there could be an argument that they’re the same, they’re one in the same, in a way, but then it depends on what the affirmation would be. And if it’s simple and if the underlying reason why it hasn’t happened yet is being addressed. And that, so. But I do think because I think affirmations are also powerful. And when you’re like in sports medicine and stuff. And I just signed up to train for the half marathon last week. So I start training tomorrow, but this idea that you’re setting the intention of this is the time, and this is what it is, and I am aligned and I am aligned.
Joni: Yes, and the mindset work.
Helane Marie
So they can be also a type of mantra. Like, so it really depends. I think it’s more if you’re seeing them as separate, I don’t know that they’re entirely separate. I just think when you’re doing a mantra, it’s specific, you’re doing something for yourself, the 108 times a day. It’s a very like – practice that’s very specific. When you’re affirmation, you’re saying it in relation to this actual moment or actual thing, you, maybe you say it the whole time you’re running the whole time. It’s just a different energy around how it’s generally referred to.
Joni
Yes. And I think as you were talking, I realized that it really is the willingness to lean into, or face into what is under underlying or what is it that’s keeping you from living that experience that is the piece. That I’m seeing as not that affirmation doesn’t allow for that. I believe sometimes it’s used in the way, almost like a magic pill where you get to skip the messy parts. And I’m hearing you say that no, the messy parts are a part of it.
Helane Marie
Yeah. I think it’s, it’s all in. It’s like everything, everything is interpretation and semantics, so it depends on, you know, the interpretation and the usage of it and how it’s being used and how the person’s interpreting it. And so that’s why, you know, in terms of everybody really, we are all connected, but we are also all individuals. And so it really just depends on the person and the intention behind it, the same way anything is if you think of yoga and how many different teachers and lineages there are, and some people who’ve used it to very destructive ways and people who’ve used it for super healing ways. So it depends on the individuals that are doing it and what their intention is around it. And so I would say that rather than more of an all encompassing, it really just depends on the circumstances and the person.
Joni
Yes. Well, I appreciate you entertaining the question with me and just going down that path, I like to figure things out and to.
Helane Marie: I appreciate that too.
Joni
I like to understand how it all works, even though we can’t necessarily understand how it all works, but you know what I mean?
Helane Marie: I do know what you mean. So I appreciate that.
Joni
Yes. So we do need to bring this to a close and I want to share with my listeners all the ways that they can access your work and your offerings. And I know you have a number of pieces, so I know you have a few sound healing recordings that people can access.
Helane Marie
I do. And I do have a Spotify page that is accessible under Helane Marie Anderson. And all three of my sound healing albums are there. And I have some recordings up on my YouTube space. That’s also Sacral Sounds and all are accessible through my website, which is sacralsounds.com. And I often post about my live streams and stuff on Instagram, mostly, which is SacralsoundsLA. So that’s a good way to reach me.
Joni: Wonderful. And you have a free gift.
Helane Marie
I do, so I’m giving everybody that sends me an email today, a free PDF of my book. You are Meant to Sing: 10 Steps to Unlock your Inner Voice. And I also, for anyone that is interested in learning more or connecting with me directly, I offer a 15 minute discovery calls as well for free.
Joni
Wonderful, wonderful. Well, I’m so delighted to have you be here today and to talk with us and share your wisdom and what you’re doing.
Helane Marie: Oh, thank you so much for having me. It’s been a pleasure.
Joni
Yes, likewise. It’s my pleasure as well. And I’m just excited for what you’re bringing to the world. And I do hope that our listeners will tune in and take advantage of it.
Helane Marie: Yeah, me too. I look forward to hearing from everyone.
Joni
Yes, And I want to thank you dear listener for being with us as always, and to remind you to always trust what your heart knows.