Welcome to the Trust Talk Sessions. Join a collective of former guests and I for a 19 day dive into Trust to celebrate 100 episodes of Trust your Sacred Feminine Flow. Each conversation offers an intimate glimpse into the challenges and precious moments experienced in our journey to trust.
Mary Lunnen lives near the dramatic coast of North Cornwall, in the far southwest of the UK, with her husband and two cats. Her passion is helping people find their way home to themselves and rediscover their inner wisdom. She does this through her Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards, a simple format with a single word and a colour. A powerful tool that brings people back into conversation with their own truth, to rediscover their inner wisdom.
Mary draws inspiration from her love of the sea and countryside around her home, which she explores in photography and art. She began her own journey of coming home after a diagnosis of cancer in 1994 which sparked reflective journaling that grew into four published books and many articles.
Mary offers a twenty-minute complimentary consultation for anyone who would like to discover if her approach might be for them, and to experience a little of the magic.
Websites and social media links
www.daretoblossom.co.uk
Direct links to books published (five to date)
https://daretoblossom.co.uk/about/books
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/powerfulvoiceofthequietones/
For all details on today’s Trust Talk Session Giveaway: https://bit.ly/2Y0I6m2
Listen to Mary’s Trust Talk Session by clicking the play button on the audio player below.
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Read the Full Transcript Here:
Joni
Welcome to the Trust Talk Sessions. I’m your host, Joni Advent Maher, and it’s my pleasure and delight to welcome old friend, Mary Lunnen to the show today. Mary is the founder of Dare to Blossom Life Coaching. She’s the creator of the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards and she is a multiple time author with her most recent book, The Powerful Voice of the Quiet Ones: Reflections on an Introvert’s Life. And Mary was my guest, I’m going to say it was three years ago at this point. Her episode was 020. And not surprisingly, it was Dare to Blossom.
Mary’s passion is helping people to find their way home to themselves and to rediscover their inner wisdom. She is a rare individual whose quiet presence and wisdom brings more support and insight then aloud talkative style. Welcome, Mary.
Mary: Thank you Joni. That’s lovely to hear. That is those words spoken. Thank you.
Joni
Yes, it’s my pleasure. And I, I love and welcome your, your presence, your unique presence, which is, I would say it’s, it’s like a softer palette but not, it doesn’t diminish or take away what you bring in any way. In some ways it deepens it.
So I would love for us to dive in and to just talk about how trust is present for you in your life these days and in your work and, and if there is anything unique to being quote one of the quiet ones that impacts how trust operates in your life or for you.
Mary
Yes. Interesting questions. Yes. I read through what we were planning to talk about last week here and just left it there really just to let it germinate a little and see what might emerge when we came to this conversation in real time, which I liked to do things that way.
So, yeah. So something about, trust these, we can use all the words everybody else uses extraordinary, unprecedented, whatever it is, times that we’re living in just at this moment, middle of COVID 19. And it’s led to lots of people’s relationship with trust having to change. I think all sorts of ways, which, you know, I won’t go into any general examples, but I feel for me it’s been about trusting myself in a way about trusting that I can be in this time and be able to go for it and, and remain in the flow of the question I really responded to is about how has it impacted on my relationship with flow really feels the one that drew me in. And there’s something, I mean this being one of the quiet ones, being an introvert is a great advantage in this time of seclusion and self isolation. That’s what we love doing.
Joni: Yeah
Mary
no, I’ve seen so many meetings and things on online, on Facebook about, you know, the gift to introverts and everybody loves this, which is, you know, a bit facetious perhaps, but it’s obviously a germ of truth in that we’re probably very well prepared to cope with being isolated from people because you know, the definition I’ve always chimed with is that to hear an inch of it, all that side of it, we’re all different. Of course we’re all on a scale of things, but if you have introverted ways of being in the world that you recharge your energy by withdrawing from people and going somewhere quiet or going out in nature or you know, sitting down with a book or a journal. So that’s what I’ve been doing. A lot of people who are more on the extrovert scale recharge their energy by going out and joining with people in the buzz and the energy, lots of interactions. Those are the ones who are suffering most at this time, I think.
Joni
Yes, I think you’re right. Because I live in a house with two extroverts and I see the ways that they start to crave that stimulation and contact and buzz that comes with being in the outer world.
Mary
I think I’m missing my close groups of friends who I would meet, you know, one to one for coffee or a walk. And those are the things and the hugs are the physical contact. to share a hug with a friend and stroll along and have a chat, whatever it is. But you know, they’ll come in some way or other. Such a gift of the online world is such an extraordinary thing at this time. That’s helped all of us. I think.
Joni
Yes, we are very fortunate that we’re able to connect and even today for you and I to be able to connect in this way and then to then reach listeners in whatever corner of the world that they are in. Similarly, it is a powerful medium. So, I guess I’m wondering, your whole Mark is this Dare to Blossom. And to me that implies that there, there is an issue of trust or a question of trust to dare to blossom. There must be, it seems implied. A trust that whether that would be a safe thing to do. I mean there’s risk but, that it’s, it’s a worthwhile thing to do. Do you have any sense of when you think about that trust and how it, how it overlaps with the cornerstone of your work?
Mary
Yes. Yes. I mean it’s, yeah, business name has always been a challenge for me and for others. If people say, well, happy, you know, happy dead plus we’ve always say, well it’s, yeah, it’s a work in progress as a practice. It’s something we keep on repeating is taking one step and then taking another step. And a lot does by much involves trust spring to mind as you speak there, the, you know, the, take the step from the bridge will appear, which I love that. You’re right. It’s a very scary thing to do. You know? Take that step into the unknown and trust that you’ll be supported, that you won’t fall in. Something will be there to catch you if you do fall a little bit, your safety. That is some, so thinking now how that relates to flow is almost, I’m just saying in my image, a friend of mine is a wonderful artist and she’s got this beautiful painting.
We show you somebody, a tiny figure doing a Swan dive into the, into the ether, really into these beautiful colors that she’s painted behind you. That’s the ultimate expression of trust in some ways is showing somebody just starting off into what must be unknown, beautiful color and flower it down, but it’s there. It’s a beautiful image and that’s really what I know happens when I take that bold step in, maybe only a small set for some people that’s usually, it’s a bold step for me because a lot of the clutter, a cautious referencing personal I have been in the past. I just don’t feel it. People I feel in myself, but people don’t see it that way either. Sometimes there’s something about that trusting and then the flow takes me and it’s letting go of the fear and the expectations and all those things that make me hesitate all the age of that step forward.
Joni
Yes. And is there a time that you can remember trusting and leaning into that fear or taking the next step despite the fare?
Mary
Oh, was probably not some of them, but let me think if I can think of a good example. I mean they, one of the big ones, which is quite bizarre now seeing all the things coming around with an anniversary is when I planned my trip to New Zealand last autumn because that just came up as an opportunity. And I haven’t been to see my sister and her family who immigrated there years ago for a long time. And there was all sorts of things about trust that like, if my husband’s health would be okay for me to go and that everything was slot into place. None of us knew what was to come this year. And I went and people would say to me, well you I think brave traveling by yourself. Why around the world from England, but actually I don’t feel that at all because I’ve done it before and didn’t feel first time actually, but for me that was, that was fine. It wasn’t a big thing. Strange as that may sound to say that, but there was the trust if it would work out even better. There were some things that came up along the way as it does really journey tested, that feeling of trust quite a bit and it was there that was the right thing to do and it would all work out perfectly as it did in the end.
Joni
Yes, and to me it seems like that kind of trust, like there was a big payoff there. There was a big gift waiting for you on the other side once you got there, it would seem first of all just visiting New Zealand itself, but, but also having a sister that you haven’t seen, I’m guessing in quite some time.
Mary
No, that’s right. I hadn’t, I hadn’t been there for 11 years. I’d seen her more recently. Even all that recently and some of the family, she has three daughters and seven grandchildren live here close in the area. I saw that your online habits, not in person too. I’ve met them online. I know I’ll video and things, but so it was a wonderful, wonderful time to get that reward. As you say, there was very much a spiritual journey for me as well. There was a deeper significance to that travel and that journey. I’m not entirely sure I could even put that into words even now, but it still feels a big, it was surely what was intended to be happening at that particular time. Once I’d taken that first step and stepped forward in trust that they would work out. There’s all sorts of things that are still emerging now for me from that, that journey, that decision to go.
Joni: Mm, so it sounds almost like it was a bit of a vision quest, so to speak.
Mary
It was indeed, yes, really. It was pretty much like, that’s it. I’m not sure if I shared with you the experience I had during that summer. Not trying to check about being in hospital, but is it appropriate to share that?
Joni: Yes, please.
Mary
I’ll try to be brief because I know we don’t have much time. This story is actually in the book we’re going to discuss at the end so people can read this if they wanted to. I had to go to hospital for some tests and one of the tests ended up being a lumbar puncture, which I had to make the decision whether to have that or not. If anybody knows about that, it’s certainly not something to take lightly. But I was informed. I was by myself. My husband wasn’t with me. I was informed it was the only way to be sure that I hadn’t suffered the bleed on the brain, which is what they were investigating.
Joni: Wow.
Mary
So I was lying on the bed. You have to have your back to the doctors as they’re accessing your spine. And it’s so easy to forget in that medical environment. But I remembered to ask Source for help. That was all that was my thought was, I’m just reaching out for some help please. And what I saw, as I was lying there was a humpback whale and her calf floating in the water, as you see in the pictures. I’ve never seen this in real life. I could see it really clearly in my mind’s eyes, as I can now as I’m telling you, and like I see her eye and it looking at me with the most beautiful mother’s love and it was just so, so powerfully comforting. It was just a comfort. It was a mother’s love being sent to me. That was just so amazing.
Somebody who doesn’t live near me but who happened to see it online. One of my friends, she sent me that same evening, she sent me a clip from the news, said that a humpback whale had been seen off the coast of Cornwall, only actually very few miles from where I was in the hospital.
Joni: Wow. Wow. Wow, wow. Wow.
Mary
My whale would come to visit. She came to me in spirit. Obviously she can’t actually swim to the hospital. Isn’t that extraordinary.
Joni
It is. It is extraordinary. It is. And just the ways that we can be tuned in and supported when we, when we, whether make the choice we remember, Oh, I can ask for help. Wow. So it, it seems to me, that that’s all part of this larger spiritual, we’ll say story that’s unfolding around your trip.
Mary
Yes, yes. I spent some time meditating as I had quite a long recovery time. I spent a lot of time just resting and meditating and connecting with the whale again. And the message he gave me was simply deep and slow.
Joni:
Hmm. Well, whale medicine I know is also akin to remembering who we are. It’s like remembering our true nature is part of what I have heard as well. So very, very powerful passage.
So you mentioned your book and would love to have you share about that. I know that one of our fortunate and blessed listeners today is going to receive a free copy of your book in the ebook format. So can you tell us about that?
Mary
Yes, yes. The book is called, The Powerful Voice of the Quiet Ones, as you mentioned earlier, and it actually emerged after I’d come back from New Zealand. I’d been writing. I’m still writing a bigger and longer book about my work and my processes that I’ve developed. And this was originally going to be part of that focus of the memoir section but when I came back, not long before Christmas in 2019. All of a sudden this book decided it wants to be published on it’s own. It wanted to be a standalone book. Very clear. In these matters these things go really quickly. So over the Christmas period, and I published it in January, I self published it. It’s a little slim book discuss, you know, I put in some of the black and white photographs, you my childhood actually the people who buy the book given in this case, the, the book get the color photographs is a benefit which she don’t get you the printed copy.
Some of my childhood photographs are so old, they’re in black and white, but the more recent ones are in colors. So I’ve included photographs and some reflections. And writing memoir is so interesting. It’s such an interesting thing to choose what you include and what you don’t include. And there’s also, you know, some of the stories and some of the wisdom that I’ve learned about me obviously because it’s also some wisdom that I’ve shared through my journey along the way. And I’m 67 now, so I’ve got a lot to share, I’ve gathered through the years and it was a wonderful experience writing it. And the fact that I shared it with my sister who I visited in New Zealand and I shared it with my husband who’s not involved in my work. But they both read it and I think that’s both changed our relationship to a certain degree from them having read it. So that’s made a big difference too in ways that are very subtle and hard to quantify, but that’s made a difference.
Joni
Yeah. So there’s a revealing that happens when we share those deeper parts of ourselves with the people that know us in a kind of, in our day to day way.
Mary
Yes. Yes. It’s so much. You know, so much of my work takes place with my online community, and I’ve got so many wonderful friends like you, Joni, who I’ve met this way, but we’ve never met in person. Maybe someday. It feels like it is a very powerfully, strong and real connection regardless how we’ve met and how we connect. But very often that’s not shared with my family and my husband, people I live with. So it’s interesting isn’t it?
Whether it’s physical meetings, even so it wouldn’t be so much, because I go out to those in previous times, so perhaps to be more brought into my day to day life. Whereas the online world isn’t. In a lot of ways. So it’s really interesting in that way.
And the other wonderful thing has come out of the book is I have created a Facebook group called the Powerful Voice of the Quiet Ones for the people who wanted to support me and I’ve not done that before for any of my other books and it was quite a big step as well as I was opening up for preorders and that sort of thing, it’s a very good motivator. As people started ordering you’ve really got a lot more accountability there to make sure it actually does come to something and actually is produced. But it was wonderful and then people have been supporting me through that and I’ve been doing readings of the book in that group. So the whole of the book has been read aloud on that and that group too. So that was another new experience for me doing that. So the whole thing has been about community as well as trust. Coming back to trust, that was trusting experienced too. It was then trusting in me that I actually would produce this thing that they’ve already paid the money for. And me trusting them with this sort of tender little green shoot that wasn’t yet ready to go out into the world and sharing my experiences with that and how it was going and being very open and authentic about the ups and downs of my writer’s life, if you like.
Joni
Mmm. Well and it sounds like there’s also the trust in yourself that you would indeed complete it and that you could move through this process and, and come out with this new form, this new baby of yours, so to speak.
Mary
Yes, they’re very much babies when we write these things and produce these things.
Joni
They are, they are. So I want to let our listeners know that, that we will be giving the book away today. The Powerful Voice of the Quiet Ones we’ll be giving away today so you can go to the popup Facebook group for this event, which is the Trust Talk Sessions group on Facebook. And we’ll have all the ways that you can enter to win Mary’s book. And if you don’t win and you’re still interested in purchasing a copy, I’m sure that she would be more than happy to oblige you. So, Mary, how can people purchase your book if they’re interested in reading it? Perhaps long after this episode has aired when it’s been given away?
Mary
Easiest way would be to go to my website homepage. If you scroll down to find the link. There’s two versions of the book. The print copy which you can buy from Amazon or anywhere else if you’d like to do it that way. Or you can order one direct from me then in that case, there’s obviously shipping to pay because it comes from Cornwall in England where I am. But what I love doing is signing people and putting in a personal note for you wherever you are in the world. And I know people value that. I do that all the time with authors that I love following. I love knowing it’s coming from their hands to mine makes it much more special in some ways. So I love to do that for people if people would like that.
And the other way is to buy the ebook, which is simply a PDF document, it’s not a Kindle one as yet. I haven’t gotten to grips with the formatting for that yet. So that is only available direct from me. So the person who wins it I will send it to them by email or through messenger, whichever they prefer. and if others want to order it they can do that from the website as well.
Joni
Wonderful. Wonderful. And I do want to give a shout out again related to Mary’s original episode because it’s always fascinating to hear. That was a more expanded conversation to hear kind of the deeper roots of the dare to blossom story and Mary’s story. So I would point you to that. So I want to say thank you, Mary, for being with us today and for sharing your wisdom and your depth.
Mary: Thank you. Joni, it’s a joy as always to talk with you.
Joni
Mm. Thank you. And I want to thank you, dear listener, as well for being here with us. And I want to remind you as always, to trust what your heart knows.