5 Steps to Melt your Frozen Fear  

Do you ever feel frozen by self-doubt or insecurity? Unable to progress even though all you want to do is move forward? I’m having one of those days. I’ve been trying to complete a project with my inner critic harping on me. It’s kept me stuck! It’s taking me a day and a half to accomplish something that would typically take a few hours.   I understand the incessant hammering of my critic was born from a protective impulse to keep me “safe” but it’s just not helpful. It turns my own power against me and it’s all based on F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real)   She’s really quite a drama queen and alarmist!   I want to tell her it’s not that big of a deal (because it isn’t) and to chill out.   When I can step back and have some humor it does loosen her grip but when I’m in a frozen F.E.A.R. state I have the best success with a Sacred Feminine wisdom approach.   Here are the 5 Sacred Feminine Wisdom Steps to shift the frozen F.E.A.R.:   1. Slow down, take a deep breath and place your hand on your belly. Recognize there is an old belief or story fueling the F.E.A.R.  2. Take another deep breath. Sigh as you exhale. Open to curiosity. What is the belief fueling this? What is that old story about? Where does it live in your body? 3. Bring a gently breath to meet the feeling place in your body. Let your breath wash over the place of tension. 4. Feel your feet on the ground and...

Recognize the Gift

When I listen to my sacred feminine soul today she whispers relax. Be easy with yourself. Receive the exquisite beauty of the green moss at your feet and the snow melting on the branch. She slows me down when I get ahead of myself and opens me to the invisible threads connecting me with all life. She guides and inspires me with my simple concerns and my hearts deep desires.    The sad thing is for years I was deeply ashamed of my essence even as she was woven into every fiber of my being. I believed it was my biggest problem – my sensitivity, my deep emotions, and my tender heart. Not to mention my body. It was messy and out of my control. It all made me feel weird and vulnerable. Like I could never quite fit in.   So I tried to cut her off and become what was applauded and approved of. I watched the contempt and denigration of the feminine in my home, my church and the world around me. I attracted people and experiences that trashed the feminine within me. I believed the lies and felt for years I’m not enough.    I learned to put on the mask and try to fit in to relationships and institutions that didn’t “get” me. Or see the value in my sensitivity or deep emotions. It left me feeling even more insecure and self-critical.   How about you? Do you struggle with self-judgment and doubt? Do you work to hold it all together yet feel unworthy or not enough deep inside? Do you look to others...

The Journey of Self Love

Did you know that February is Self Love Month?   Such an audacious concept if you were raised to be self-less and put everyone else first.   Or were taught you were worth-less.  Not as deserving of love, kindness or respect because you’re the wrong gender, size, color or sexual orientation.  Or you’re too sensitive, emotional, intelligent or different.   How do you begin to touch self love if you’re carrying a trash bag full of lies and stories around with you? When you’ve taken so many missteps already?   If your journey started anywhere close to the self-loathing and recrimination mine did it’s tough to jump headlong into self-love.  You may have to start with “permission” to love yourself as well as preliminary groundwork like self-acceptance, self-forgiveness and self-discovery before you can get there.   Make no mistake this is a journey worth taking. Your self-love is a beautiful blessing – bringing more love and light to a trouble human family.   While this is a journey you can only take for yourself it is so much easier when you open to support and guidance along the way.  With a loving mentor or friend holding the space you can begin to gently explore beneath all of the inner shoulds, outer projections and family and cultural baggage you carry.   You then learn to distinguish you from the lies, masks and misconceptions you’ve come to believe are you.  You gradually learn to accept and care for yourself. Eventually you come to recognize, appreciate and yes love the unique being that is you.   But to get there you have...

Sensual Pleasure: Our Sacred Feminine Legacy

Hi Love, So we’re one month into the New Year, what have you been pursuing in 2016? I was lying on my dear friend’s massage table yesterday receiving the most exquisite facial. It was a gift to spend time with a soul sister and receive her caring, gentle touch. I felt so nurtured and it relaxed me from head to toe.  Not one shred of tension survived.   I was soft as jelly with a gurgling belly and all I could say was ahhhhh. It was so delicious. Especially after arriving wrapped tight for my appointment with my shoulders up around my ears from a day of hurried “to do’s”. That’s the power of sensual pleasure that comes when you slow down to the speed of digestion and respiration.   This year I am making a conscious choice to open to more pleasure.    In fact, my friend and I talked about that while I lay on the table. Early, in my spiritual path I recognized that each of the teachers I most admired all had meditation practices. With that recognition I began to practice meditation more consistently with very beneficial results. These days the teachers I most want to emulate are all women who are committed to self love and opening to sensual pleasure in their lives. While they experience it through different means they all place pleasure at the top of their priority list. And it shows in their radiant, full and vital aliveness. Even after a short while of making pleasure a priority I can feel the benefits it’s having in my body and my life....

There’s No Comparison

Hello Love,   Do you ever have those moments when you don’t feel quite put together or that you’ll ever reach your dream only to look over to see a sister soaring with success? It can be hard to appreciate the butterfly when you feel like you’re still crawling on the ground.   I was having one of those mornings today where I was admiring fabulous accomplishments of some of my visionary sisters and feeling like I didn’t quite measure up. Then I remembered this wisdom I received a while ago. It was just what I needed to gain some perspective and peace of mind.   While I hope you’re on top of the world today I’m sending you this for those times when you need a reminder you’re exactly who and where you need to be.   With deep love, Joni   No Comparison   She’s so beautiful I feel so fat Oh, look She’s sooo good I wish I could do that   She’s got such talent She creates with such ease   When I try It’s like wrestling a pig into a bathing suit Another epic fail   I really think she must be perfect Not a hair out of place She’s always dressed just right Knows just what to say   I can barely take myself out in public Wrong clothes, wrong hair I never got the memo   I fear I’ll never measure up Always be less than How can I not be Surrounded by such beauty, accomplishment, brilliance, wit, savvy and skill   But my dear I think you have forgotten Even as...

New Year Blessings

Please click here to view the video.   In out-of-the-way places of the heart, Where your thoughts never think to wander, This beginning has been quietly forming, Waiting until you were ready to emerge.   For a long time it has watched your desire, Feeling the emptiness growing inside you, Noticing how you willed yourself on, Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.   It watched you play with the seduction of safety And the gray promises that sameness whispered, Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent, Wondered would you always live like this.   Then the delight, when your courage kindled, And out you stepped onto new ground, Your eyes young again with energy and dream, A path of plenitude opening before you.   Though your destination is not yet clear You can trust the promise of this opening; Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning That is at one with your life’s desire.   Awaken your spirit to adventure; Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk; Soon you will be home in a new rhythm, For your soul senses the world that awaits you.   ~ John O’Donohue   My Dear Sister,   A new opening and rhythm do indeed await you. And it is at one with your unique life desires. And this can be your year to receive it.   To assist you I have a New Year inquiry and additional resource to support you.   Just before midnight on New Year’s Eve my husband, daughter and I each created a list of what we wanted to leave behind in 2015....

Today I hope you realize deep in your bones ….

You’re the Gift!   You’re a Gift You’re a treasure You’re a one of a kind Dazzling display of Divine Radiance! Can you see it as you gaze into your mirror? No? Not really. Oh, I see It’s not showing your true reflection. Let’s adjust that. OK, Deep breath. Let out a soft sound as you exhale. Great, now let your consciousness drop down into your heart space. Take a few more breaths with a soft ahhhh as you settle in. Looking with your inner eyes Soften your gaze and behold the reflection of your own heart. Peak beneath the broken and well worn armor Beyond all disillusionments and doubt Can you see it? The beauty The treasure The gift! It’s you! Isn’t She glorious! What more could anyone want but Your Presence. It has been such a gift to be with you in community this year.   With great love & blessings for your New Year! Joni...

A Gift of Spirit

My Dear Ones,   As we enter the season of presents and Presence I have two wonderful new resources to share with you. Two new books I’ve had the pleasure to explore and thought you would enjoy.   They are both useful tools to support you with the challenges we all face of feeling isolated, afraid, unlovable & vulnerable.   I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin and in love with yourself and your life.   Here are two useful tools I’ve enjoyed to help you on your journey.   First, I’ve been dipping into Me, Myself, & I ~ 28 Days of Creative Self-Love. A rich, new multi-media e-book by Cheryl Bridges. Harnessing your creativity, it takes you step by step through a process of growing your self-love.   In one of her creative inquiry exercises from Day 22, on connecting with Spirit to discover Who You Really Are, I had quite a powerful insight.   It began with remembering the many times in my life I have felt alone, disconnected, vulnerable and not enough. I then heard the voices of my teachers reminding me that ultimately you are not separate from all you see around you. It is our belief that we are separate that perpetuates the feeling of emptiness and lack. I thought, “ok, that’s great but how do I know I’m not separate. How do I feel the connectedness and be open to a sense of Oneness?”   To my pleasant surprise the exercise brought me right into the heart of my question. It took me through an experience of self-love to an endless...

Gratitude is Great but What if You’re Just Not There?

We’re in the heart of the big month of gratitude.   While I am a devoted practitioner and firm believer in the power of gratitude I know there are times we just can’t muster it – no matter how hard we try. How do you get from being so heartbroken, beaten-down, pissed off, or disillusioned you can’t see straight to the magical manna of gratitude?   Let me tell you I’ve had my days of wondering exactly that.   First of all, not that you need it, but you have my full permission to be as sad, enraged, or filled with despair as you feel right this moment. It’s okay to not be a beacon of gratitude. Some days you have to just start where you are, no matter how messy.   Some days you just need to rant, cry or stare off into space.   Recently, I came through my own tough time. I was in tears pleading with the powers that Be to deliver me.   “I just can’t do it anymore.”   Did Grace come? Did it get easier? Actually no – it got significantly worse in ways I couldn’t have even imagined. My simple overwork and overwhelm segued into a full-blown medical crisis in my family. It broke my will and ability to resist.   When we’re in the thick of life we don’t always have the luxury of exquisite self-care. Sometimes we’re in the trenches and we have to go for a quick and dirty fix.   I used to spend years believing if I had just planned it better or had done a...

Do You Feel Invisible?

My Dear Ones,   As a very little girl I used to watch the TV show, Romper Room.   Maybe you remember it or perhaps it was before your time. At the very end of each episode Miss Carol would look in her magic mirror and see all the boys and girls who were watching and she would call them out one by one. She would say, “I see Bobby, I see Susie, I see Sarah, I see Donna, I see Christopher,” and on and on.   Each time I waited expectantly and would then feel the let down as she never once said “I see Joni.”   So many of us carry that deep desire to be seen. And yet, sometimes like love – we look for that recognition or reception in all the wrong places. We seek it from people who are unable to see, appreciate or receive us. We long to be discovered but over time the risk of criticism, rejection or injury make it safer to blend in or remain unnoticed.   So we learn to hide our essential self.   Recently, my family and I traveled through Southern Utah. Tired and road weary we stopped for dinner at a touristy “all you can eat buffet.” Our waitress, Laura in her white button-down and black trousers was of an age, size and style that she could easily blend in and go unnoticed. As she took our drink order she saw my husband’s Stevia, a natural sweetener he uses in his coffee. She offhandedly told us a few facts about nontraditional ways you can use Stevia....

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