The Crucible of Change

The Crucible of Change

My Dear Sister, I’m coming to you from the crucible of change. This last month has been a rigorous but exquisitely orchestrated journey through my mother’s final days, the celebration of her life and the new frontier of life with her absence. More recently, it’s felt quite a bit like I’m tumbling through space without any moorings – unsure where I’ll land or who I’ll be when I get there. There’s no doubt this new unfolding will ultimately flower and bear fruit but for now I’m keeping things very simple. Impeccable self-care has been the order of the day. I listen closely to what my body, heart and Spirit need. Rest, healthy food, time outside and contact with friends are staples. I’ve cut out nonessentials and cut back on mindless time on social media. Its clear I’m in the midst of a total reworking of my relationships, roles and karmic threads with both parents; assisting the healing of my mother’s ancestral line; and going through a complete and utter transformation of Self. Having a regular practice of self care, reaching out for support and opening to the Sacred within and all around me has created a sense of ease and Grace through this very intense and sometimes challenging passage. It tenderized my heart and opened me to a larger stream of love. My family and I have been loved and supported in gorgeous and amazing ways throughout this journey. I am deeply grateful for all we have received and my ability to let it in wholeheartedly. I’ve been living what’s possible when we root deeply in our Sacred nature...
At the end of the day, what really matters to you?

At the end of the day, what really matters to you?

My daughter and I are spending the week out of state with my aging parents.  It was an unplanned trip spurred by a sobering diagnosis my mother just received. I’m here arranging care and ongoing supports and being reminded of what really matters. I’m watching my mother grow more accepting of support. And quickly getting clearer and clearer of what she wants for her remaining time, which isn’t always popular with her loved ones. I feel waves of grief and sadness wash over me and I deeply appreciate this opportunity for my daughter to have candid conversations with her grandmother about life and living the final chapters on her own terms. We are having loving and tender moments as we enjoy the simple pleasure of Being together. At times I feel a flow of joy that shifts to sorrow and then back again. Watching my mother has highlighted the importance of knowing and honoring yourself so you don’t waste one day living someone else’s version of your life.    I have two events coming up later this month to support you in remembering and honoring what really matters to you and connecting with that wise Feminine Essence within you.   I am offering a Free 1 Hour Virtual Class: Open to Your Sacred Feminine Flow on Monday July 18th at 6:30 pm EST. Join me to relax and begin creating emotional and financial peace of mind.  Access your unique Feminine essence that guides you in claiming and nourishing what really matters to you.   To register click HERE On Friday July 29th, I will be joined here in Richmond by Molly Sharp,...
Are you managing the caregiving crunch?

Are you managing the caregiving crunch?

Dear Sister, Are you in the midst of the sandwich generation crunch? Feeling the demands of caring for parents as well as your own children. Or feeling pulled between career demands and family’s needs.  Sometimes our care and commitments to others draws heavily on us.     I just returned home to my husband and daughter after time away with my aging, out of state parents. The most apparent factor on both ends of my trip was a deep need for my presence.   As I felt the great need coming at either end I experienced some momentary trepidation. It felt so big – like it might consume me. I took a deep breath and felt an inner shift and subsequent re-ordering of my priorities.  I came into alignment with my love for them, my desire to be of service and I set aside my personal agenda.   That’s one of the gifts of the Sacred Feminine – our ability to stop on a dime, assess what’s needed and give care.   Sometimes we choose self-sacrifice in response to other’s need. Not that we are the only gender capable of that but it is common ground for us as women. We naturally hold a consciousness that comes from our innate tendency to care for the young, old and frail in the human family.   This is not the first time I’ve been called to set aside my desires and agenda to care for a loved one.  Maybe you can you relate?    Six years ago I set aside my personal goals and desires to support my daughter through a...
Gratitude is Great but What if You’re Just Not There?

Gratitude is Great but What if You’re Just Not There?

We’re in the heart of the big month of gratitude.   While I am a devoted practitioner and firm believer in the power of gratitude I know there are times we just can’t muster it – no matter how hard we try. How do you get from being so heartbroken, beaten-down, pissed off, or disillusioned you can’t see straight to the magical manna of gratitude?   Let me tell you I’ve had my days of wondering exactly that.   First of all, not that you need it, but you have my full permission to be as sad, enraged, or filled with despair as you feel right this moment. It’s okay to not be a beacon of gratitude. Some days you have to just start where you are, no matter how messy.   Some days you just need to rant, cry or stare off into space.   Recently, I came through my own tough time. I was in tears pleading with the powers that Be to deliver me.   “I just can’t do it anymore.”   Did Grace come? Did it get easier? Actually no – it got significantly worse in ways I couldn’t have even imagined. My simple overwork and overwhelm segued into a full-blown medical crisis in my family. It broke my will and ability to resist.   When we’re in the thick of life we don’t always have the luxury of exquisite self-care. Sometimes we’re in the trenches and we have to go for a quick and dirty fix.   I used to spend years believing if I had just planned it better or had done a...
Are You Feeling Tapped Out?

Are You Feeling Tapped Out?

      We’re in the heart of Autumn with the spaciousness of Summer a distant memory. For ages it was a time of harvest; of gathering the fruits of our labor; a time to fill up before the long winter. While I hope you’re enjoying a peaceful and easygoing season of harvest I know with a new school year in full swing, increased scheduled activities and the holidays on the horizon it can feel anything but.   Personally, I’m coming off a month of steep demands on my time, energy and goodwill. Having returned to the hamster wheel of the school year coupled with a heavier work-load and the ongoing demands of family life I had expected and had planned for some of these while others caught me completely by surprise.   I arrived at this past full moon weekend spent and under the weather with an 11 year birthday party to host. I would love to tell you I was a picture of Grace and decorum as we prepared for the big event. But it was not to be.   I had an emotional storm brewing since the night before when my husband and I watched our daughter head off for her first cotillion. By Saturday I was an emotional tinderbox prime for the spark. And it came – first a small but manageable spark from a sassy 11 year old and then the one that set it all aflame – feeling pressured by my husband’s agenda, which was different than mine. Despite having taken quiet time to align my intentions for the day and cultivate some...
What’s Your Magic Number?

What’s Your Magic Number?

I hopped on the scale the other day out of curiosity.   I was feeling strong and alive in my body from the increased swimming and paddle boarding of summer. Perhaps I had lost a few pounds.   With shock and surprise the scale indicated my weight was at an all time high. I hadn’t seen that number on the scale since I was pregnant with my daughter.   I’m on the other side of the big birthday that comes at midlife so my body has been changing over the last year or so which included some incremental weight gain. By and large I’ve been at peace with these changes. While not perfect I eat well and get regular exercise so my weight has not been that big of a concern.   I don’t like to admit it but stepping on that scale and seeing that number initiated a panic in me.   I had passed the magic number in my mind that tells me I’m okay – that I’m worthwhile and desirable.   It got me thinking about all the other magic numbers we as women have acquired in our lives. Those are the numbers that keep us feeling safe, desirable and worthy of love and well-being.   How about you? Do you know your magic number?   Perhaps it’s the balance in your bank account; your jean size, or bra size; your age; your ZIP code; your salary; the items completed on your to do list; the number of likes on your Facebook post; or your child’s class rank?   Do you think about them often or...

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