Leaving the Shadows

Leaving the Shadows

Sometimes I’m moving through life sure of who I am and feeling contented and then suddenly the bottom drops out. Stunned, I find myself in a very dark and rocky inner terrain.   I’m just emerging from one of those episodes. You know the kind when one misstep, mixed with the right combination of hormones, work or family drama, and the alignment of certain stars tips the balance from, “I’m okay, I can do this thing called life on planet earth “ to “I am a complete and utter failure as a human and, I will never get it right.” Does this ever happen to you?   I haven’t made that kind of trip to the shadowlands in quite some time. But when I do arrive it often feels like I’ve never left and it is my true home.   This visit started with a day of feeling guilty about everything. Triggered by a small but costly ice related parking accident the guilt tripped me into the mental state of “terminally wrong”. That snowballed into a series of losing and forgetting things. My favorite earrings – lost. My materials for a class – put in someone else’s bag. My phone – left across town and an important conference call is only minutes away.  Then rushing to make that call and leaving important papers at the meeting I just left. Already feeling utterly inept a trusted guide points out how my behavior and response to my daughter will likely perpetuate one of her blind spots and impede her growth in some important ways. Having sought out her advice that chat,...

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